I just wanted to take a minute to share a quick story with all of you that truly made a huge impact for me.
A little back story on my family will hopefully give you some perspective. As a work at home mom of 3 I feel like I am a constantly being pulled in a million different directions, and I worry that it shows when I am out in public. Between my 6 year old and 3 year old sons I feel like they can definitely be a handful. Especially when they are excited or start to get tired. My 10 month old is thankfully the happiest most content baby in the world usually but she is just coming out of being sick for a few weeks and has been quite moody to put it lightly. Now let me tell you all of this together without the reinforcement of their amazing father can get very interesting and intense at times. My husband works late and honestly does not like to deal with crowds or large groups of people when hes actually home, so usually I handle most outings and things without him.
Last night a friend and I packed up all 3 kids and took them to the mall to see Santa. (yes, I know I should have gone sooner.) We trekked through the mall and waited in line and then they had to wait to pay and so on. Every year after we see Santa we usually go to Rainforest Cafe for dinner, but due to the loud storms and dark restaurant my daughter was not having it. So now I have disappointed little boys who can't eat where they wanted. They reluctantly agreed to go for Hibachi which they call the cooker man.
At the restaurant my anxiety was going nuts. We were seated with a nice 50 something couple and two single men. All I could do is hope for the best as my kids were overly hungry and getting restless from all the waiting, and we were dangerously approaching their bedtime. As were sitting there my friend sat between my boys and I sat with my oldest and the baby. As soon as people start ordering, my daughter starts fussing. Again my anxiety is climbing, thinking I disrupting peoples dinner. I quickly give her a bottle and she begins to calm down. Then no more than 5 minutes later she manages to grab the corner of my plate and spill soup on me. As I'm wiping it up, I see that my younger son is fidgeting and is bumping the young man next to him. I quickly calm him down and they start cooking and it distracts him. Now this type of mini chaos continues for about the entire hour and a half we are there. I am sitting in horror feeling like my children are out of control because tiny things go wrong.
Then as the younger guys are leaving one looks at us and says "Its great that they want to explore things and do things, not just sit on phones or tablets." I say thank you as I stand there frozen and confused. Somehow what I was considering a disruption, someone else was thinking it was great that I don't allow my children to have devices at a dinner table. Then a couple moments later as I'm fastening my daughter back into the stroller the couple stops me to tell "All your kids are so well behaved." I thanked them and kind of uncomfortably laughed for a second and said bye and Merry Christmas. As I turned around I see all 3 kids waving bye to them and my sons telling them to have a Merry Christmas.
Now as their mother of course I think my kids are pretty fantastic, but I do worry that the little things are bothersome when we are out and about. Especially in a higher end restaurant in the evening. I don't think any of them were expecting to sharing a table with 3 kids when they walked in.
After hearing those things from complete strangers who just met my kids, and not 100% on their best behavior it made me stop and think. I realized that my sons both thanked the server as well as the chef at the table every time they were given anything (even the things they don't like) My younger son was fidgety and chatty, but he sat in his seat the entire time and talked at an appropriate volume to everyone about seeing Santa, and everything Ghostbuster related. My oldest was attentive to his sister and would grab toys she dropped and make faces at her as she started to fuss.
Today I got to look at my kids in a new light, I got to focus only on the positive and all the little things they do that make them such great kids, which I will be the first to admit, that I probably take for granted. Instead of enjoying my meal and time with my kids I was so worried about what other people though. I was so worried for no reason. My kids had a great night and they made everyone around them smile too.
Mom's please give yourself a break. We all need to realize that nobody but us is expecting our kids to behave perfectly. And also take a minute to acknowledge when you see moms or dads out with kids and they are well behaved, because that parent is probably thinking the same thing I was last night. Hearing those little things from strangers was probably the highlight of my week.
